I wish I could be happy that I can finally sing along to "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance without being a teenager myself, but I kinda can't.
My 20th birthday was last sunday and that was by far the worst day I've ever had. I really can't remember a worse day. Not even right before I started taking anti-depressants or when I got sick last summer so we couldn't go on holiday.
I really haven't cried that hard in a long time (if I've ever cried that hard before). I've never cut deeper before.
I've been getting mentally abused for a long time before that day. I just thought it would get better. And I really hadn't imagined something like that happening. On my birthday.
I've been getting mentally abused for far too long. It's enough now. I can't do this anymore. I really can't.
I just really fucking hate my life and myself, too. I wish I could just kill myself so it's all over - but I won't do it. At least not now.
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