I remember when I got into the whole LGBTQ+ stuff and found out about all those sexualities, I wrote into my diary that I hoped that I'm not asexual, but also that I probably wasn't.
(((hahahahahahahahaha)
About a year later I knew I was indeed asexual. And I had completely forgotten about writing something about that in my diary. But I found it some time later when I read through some old "stories" there and was like "whoooops".
I also had the assumption that I might be aromantic, but I didn't really know. So I searched for it on the internet and I think the best thing to find out whether you are this is reading experiences from others. And I did. And then I knew that I was aromantic as well.
Maybe I am demiromantic or something different from the aro spectrum. But it definitely is on the aro spectrum, so I can say that I'm aro.
For me being aro/ace actually means that I really don't care about romantic and sexual relationships. I always thought I was just like the others, but apperently allosexual people really think about fucking someone when they say they're hot or when they want to have a relationship with them. I can't imagine that.
I can imagine that you want to kiss someone and cuddle eventhough I don't like those things. And I can't say that about sex. I don't know if I like it, but I'm not temted to find out and I wouldn't care if I'll be a virgin for my whole life. I mean I can't get own kids anyway.
That I'm aro I really realised when I read a comic on someone's tumblr, where they talked about how the girlfriend always wrote things like "I miss you" but they were like " ... but I don't miss you ?! ". And that's exactly what I thought when my girlfriend and later my boyfriend wrote those things. I mean, I really liked them, but I just didn't need to see them all the time, thus I didn't miss them.
People always talk about how you always want to be around the other person when you start dating, but I never wanted that. I hate never being alone. And I really hate always being around the same person. (Except for my mother, I guess.)
Another thing to define asexuality is that you would rather do anything else. But also not in the way that you hate sex or are scared or whatever - watching TV just sounds so much better.
(To quote blink-182: "we started making out, and she took of my pants, but then I turned on the TV")
Maybe people think that aros are loveless and maybe we are to some point, but not in a negative way.
I also have a message to people who think they can change that someone is aro and/or ace (like my ex-boyfriend): YOU FUCKING CAN'T !!!
Asexuality is just like every other sexual orientation. You can't choose to be ace. You can't choose to be gay. You can't choose to be straight. And you can't choose to be bi, pan, whatever!
And the same goes for aromanticism.
I sometimes hate that I'm aro/ace and I really wish I had found out before my last relationship (well, the aro part), because then I wouldn't've engaged into it in the first place.