Music Monday #5

I'm active in a forum for trans*guys and one thread is called "Songs that shall be the soundtrack of your life".
It's about songs, you listen to and immediately like and could listen to all the time.
But it's about more: It's about songs that touch in an even more intense way - in a way that it (probably) does not to other people.


And now I will share my songs with you here on this blog, too:

• "Hold On" by Twin Atlantic
• "Wishing Well" by blink-182
• "Keep Swinging" by Blitz Kids &
• "Kick Me" by Sleeping With Sirens

and here are my favourite parts of the songs, which actually make them to "my soundtrack songs":

• "Yeah it's a risk worth taking to have a life worth living." - Hold On
• "I'm a little bit shy, a bit starnge and a little bit manic." - Wishing Well
• "When you're down, keep swinging - 'cause life is a mystery." - Keep Swinging
• "Keep looking down on me - I am more than you'll ever be." - Kick Me

Transgender Day of Remembrance

It's November 20th which means today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance!
It was founded in 1999 by Gwendolyn Ann Smith to memoralize transgender persons who have been killed as a result of transphobia or who are still suffering from it (violence, bullying, etc.).

I think it's a really important day for both the transgender community as well as the "other part" of society. I, for myself, haven't suffered (until now) from being trans*, but I know some people (some are friends of mine) who have. They get verbally abused by teachers, other students or just random people on the street.
That just not right!

I also read an article about a non-binary transgender person, who wants to be referred to as Profx (for example in letters) instead of the female or male version (in Germany). They got some much hate from most parts of society, mostly from rightist extremists, but also from academic people.
[If there are some interested people that speak German: here's the link!]

I can't understand why it is so unacceptable to be trans*.

Also I read about the occurrences in Italy lately. Some communities accepted same gender marriages (where the persons married in a different country - obviously), but now the government wants prohibit that again.
I was just like WHAT?!

Some people are so dumb. -.-'

Music Monday #4

This Monday I'd like to share my music-wishlist with you! Yeah! :)
(Just those albums that are on my amazon wishlist)

[In no particular order:]

• Bombs Away // Sheppard
• Vagrants & Vagabonds // Blitz Kids
• For Those Who Have Heart // A Day To Remember
• Common Courtesy // A Day To Remember
• The Fallout // Crown The Empire
• Chasing Ghost // The Amity Affliction
• Let The Ocean Take Me // The Amity Affliction
• The Wombats Proudly Present... A Guide to Love, Loss and Desperation // The Wombats
• Best Intentions // We Are The In Crowd
• Weird Kids // We Are The In Crowd
• Take This To Your Grave // Fall Out Boy
• Issues // Issues
• What You Don't See // The Story So Far
• Put Up Or Shut Up // All Time Low
• MTV Unplugged // All Time Low
• Mayday Parade // Mayday Parade
• The Wombats Proudly Present... This Modern Glitch // The Wombats
• Homesick // A Day To Remember
• The Unraveling // Rise Against
• Revolutions Per Minute // Rise Against

And that's just what is currently on my amazon wishlist...!

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Also, there will be an All Time Low concert in Hamburg next year in March - where I'll already have vacations!!! :)

Gender: costum

Some weeks ago I changed my gender on Facebook to "trans*" and my preferred pronouns to "male".

And today I got a text message from a friend: "What did you do to your gender???" with a screenshot where you could read "Jo changed HIS cover photo".

I just answered "Nothing yet" and she told me that there was a "his" in the sentence with a laughing smile and I was like "Yeah, I know".

She still hasn't answered after this...

But I'm kinda happy that someone noticed it!

Ohh, and thanks to Facebook for allowing me to choose a costum gender and my preferred pronouns!

(But I didn't make it visible for other, just the male pronouns.)

The Youth Group again!

Last friday I went to the youth group again and my mum was with me. She talked to one of the advisers and to the parents of a trans*girl. And now she is finally trying to call me with my new name and use male pronouns!
I also met a really nice trans*girl there and we are now writing on Facebook often. I can talk to her about our whole situation eventhough it's not really the same because she's MTF and I am FTM, but still: The struggle and the self-hate is the same.
Tomorrow I will see her again at the group! :)
And I will definitely ask her if she wants to be my transition-twin. :D

Also, a friend will come with me (not my best friend - but she wants to come with me sometime, too; after her exams) - actually two friends wanted to come, but the other one will go to her football training.
And before we go to the mhc (the café/bar where the youth group takes place) we will go into the city to buy me some "fancy" clothes, because I always go to parties in sweatshirts... :D
(And I still need a swiming shirt and and shorts - the trip is in two weeks. Fuck!!!)

Unfortnately I failed miserabely in trying to tell my grandparents that I'm trans*. I have to do it another time.

But: I finally told my father. I wrote a letter (again). But now he thinks I don't trust him enough because I haven't told him earlier. What the fuck? That's not about trusting! That's about my fucking anxiety and him being depressed and autistic. Besides he is one of the first persons that know about it?!
Last night he wrote an e-mail (0:14am), but I'm not going to call him after that! Also he adressed me with "Liebe ... " (German for "dear" in the female version...) - thanks!
But at least he's tolerant about the trans* thing. He just said he needed some time - which is understandable.

But still: Accusing me of not trusting him is not okay and I'm really disappointed.

Photos: TA & The Xcerts live

[2014-11-10, Molotow Hamburg]

The Xcerts:

Twin Atlantic:

And the best one (Barry looked directly into my camera while taking a photo!):

And my signed record (The Xcerts - There Is Only You):

Music Monday #3

[Yeah, I know it's Tuesday, but I wasn't at home yesterday, because of the event I'm gonna talk about now.]

So, yesterday I went to the Twin Atlantic concert in Hamburg (Molotow).
It's was so . fucking . great!!! They were perfect, both The Xcerts and Twin!!!
Also, I didn't know The Xcerts before, but there were so incredible that I bought there newest record after the concert (and I got it signed by the band!!!). Definitely worth listening to them, if you want to try new music!!! :)

And Twin Atlantic were amazing. The set list was amazing. Everything was just amazing!

And I met great people at the concert. Actually I was going alone, because no one (except for one friend, who hadn't got time) knows Twin (which is really sad...).

I also got a guitar pick and I bought a TA sweatshirt! (:

[I will also post some picture in my next post!]

Music Monday #2

Like I said last week today's topic is concerts!

First of all: I love concerts! It's just the best feeling to be aroung people that love the same music as you and to see one of your favourite bands / artists live or discover new music.

And although this year only has two months left, I will go to three concerts!
And two of those are all-time favourite bands of mine:

• Twin Atlantic + The Xcerts
In exactly one week (ONE WEEK!!!!!!!!!1!) in Hamburg (Molotow). ♥

• One Ok Rock + Tonight Alive
On December 12th in Hamburg (Große Freiheit 36).

... and ...

• Taking Back Sunday + Marmozets + Blitz Kids !!!
On December 17th in (what a surprise...) Hamburg (Knust).

[The bold one are my all-time favourites. ;)]

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Also, I have just recently discovered some very good music, you should all listen to:

• Gnarwolves
• Destroy Rebuild Until Gods Shows
• Natives
• Radio Doria
• Citizen

I'M SO HAPPY!!!!

I went to a youth group in Hamburg today (okay, yesterday) and it was GREAT! They also made a Halloween Party. ;D
I finally met people that feel the same or a similar way as me. That's one of the best feelings in the world. And I can't stop grinning right now.
The best part was with a guy shortly before I had to leave:
He asked about my age and I - truthfully - said '19'. He wouldn't believe me until I showed him my ID, on which I look terrible. He just said, he also had long hair some time ago. Some minutes later he asked, if I was gay, too. I said "I'm trans*." He looked confused and a little shocked and I just said "yeah, I'm biological a girl". Then he was like "whaaaaat?????". I actually had to show him my train ticket which was adressed to Miss x. He really thought I was cis-guy...! :)))
Next week we can bring our parents (or other close people) because some people asked, if they could do something like that and my mum is going with me! Yeah! (:

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QuARG-update:
Yesterday (thursday) was the first meeting. We talked about ideas and other stuff and about the trip to Denmark with the committee, where I really want to be part of. The house has a pool and a sauna. And then I remembered I neither have swimming shorts nor a swim shirt... I have four weeks to find some!
And I actually found the guts to come out in front of the other three members that were there. The reactions were great and I'm so happy I did it.

So, next step: Coming out to my friends...