Monday, 20 July 2015

a.poem.by.me

Just one more pill.
Just one more cut.
Just one more sip of the burning sensation in my throat.
Just one more smile.
One more breath.

But I can’t fucking do this. I’m a coward. I’m to fucking gutless to end my own life. It always only results in some red lines on my arm. Sometimes some tears. But mostly just numbness. Emptiness. Just nothing.
I’m always hoping I just wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Just die in my own sleep. Or get hit by a truck. But I don’t want anyone being responsible for my death. I want to be the only one that is responsible for my death. But I will never be the only one. Maybe it’s this fucked up society that makes my life a living hell. Maybe it’s those false friends. Or just everything at once.
I can’t do this. I can’t take anymore. I just want to die already. But I won’t.
Still no one knows how bad I am. But why should they know. They don’t even care. Nobody cares. I’m fucking worthless. A waste of space. I hate me. I hate everything about myself. I hate myself for still being here.
Please, someone. Release me from all of this.

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