Like long hugs or cuddling or just being too close to a person for too long. It's not that I get claustrophobia - yeah, I feel constricted, but not that bad -, I just really don't like it.
Maybe it's because I'm afraid that people feel my female body parts. I mean it's bad enough that I have them, that I can feel them all the time and that I even have to see them! (
But I don't know if that's the reason. I also feel uncomfortable with people who know I'm trans* and/or who are also trans*...
In those situations my heart starts to race, I kinda feel trapped and out of control, like the other person has control over me and my body - and this is definitely one of my fears and also a reason I don't drink too much alcohol: My fear of losing control.
It's bad enough that my depression and anxiety sometimes make me lose control - so that's kind of a trigger.
And I really don't understand how other people want to lose control - with drinking or whatever.
Still it is okay to hug me - and I sometimes also enjoy longer hugs when I don't feel too bad - I also don't feel that uncomfortable while holding someone's hand (except for the fact that I always have sweaty palms - but that's a different story).
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I googled and maybe it's kind of haphephobia...? But I don't know.
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